What is a Maid of Honor (or Matron of Honor) supposed to do? What is the role of the Maid of Honor? What is the Maid of Honor’s responsibility?
We are often asked by members of the wedding party, “is there anything I am supposed to be doing?” The answer is yes! Traditionally, wedding parties knew the roles associated with the honor of being in the wedding party, as it was customary to know the rules of etiquitte. However, as the world has moved away from the “traditional” and each couple does things the way they feel they want their day to go, these roles have become a bit difficult to decifer.
If you are a bride or groom, feel free to pass this along to your wedding party! Believe me, they will appreciate it. After all, they are your closest friends and family members and they want to help. Most of the time, they simply do not know what they are supposed to do!
If you are a bride’s Maid or Matron of Honor, make sure you run this list by your bride to verify that she wants you to take care of all of these items.
Wedding Roles of the Maid or Matron of Honor:
- Plan & Host (yep, pay for!) the Bachelorette Party & Wedding Shower
- Stay in communication with the bride & her mom about wedding plans
- Be there as a calming, helpful force throughout the planning & big day!
- Help with makeup & hair or go to apointments with her for advice
- Bring an emergency kit
- Keep track of bridesmaids & schedule
- Take her cell phone away from him and hold onto it for the duration of the evevnt
- Make sure the bride eats & goes to the bathroom
- Help bride get dressed & ready
- Offer her one opportuinty to back out if she so chooses
- Hold her bouquet during the ceremony
- Readjust her train & veil during the ceremony
- Be a legal witness & sign the marriage license
- Help get groups together during the photography session
- Bustle dress between pictures & reception
- Stand in the receiving line if they are having one
- Direct guests toward guest book
- Bathroom Breaks – manage wedding dress
- Get them food & beverages during the reception
- Clean up after reception
- Transport gifts to their house
- Take gown for preservation
- Attend post-wedding breakfast/brunch if they are having one
- Keep track of gifts given/from whom & help address and organize thank you cards
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I have a question–You noted that the maid of honor is supposed to pay for the bachelorette party, I have been asked (as a friend and not a member of the wedding party) to contribute a large sum of money to the maid of honor to throw our friend’s bachelorette party. This seems wrong. Further, only some of the attendees were asked to pay in, not all. Do I actually need to pay money in like that? What are my duties as a friend?
Good question! Traditionally, the Maid of Honor pays for the shower and
bachelorette party, just as the best man pays for the bachelor party,
however, that can be a huge financial burden so it is often shared across
the wedding party or the attendees. If the MOH or BM are flush with cash,
yea, they should pick up the tab. If the wedding party is able, they should
pitch in, absolutely. In these economic times, we are seeing more and more
of the attendees being asked to help with the cost. It’s a way to keep
having the big parties without all of the burden.
As for your duty, well, it’s a gray area. If you can do it and you feel
it’s a worthy place for your money to go, then sure go ahead and help out.
If you too are pinched for funds, just talk to whoever is throwing the party
and honestly explain that you are excited to be coming but simply don’t have
the funds to help out with a chunk of the costs. Maybe you can offer to buy
her a drink the day of.